Real Wedding: Cara and Ben – Kirtland Country Club
When you read today’s post about Cara and Ben’s wedding and learn about the challenges that faced them when they returned from their honeymoon, you’ll understand the true meaning behind those wedding vows “in sickness and in health.”
First, here are some of the beautiful details of their wedding:
- Cara, a graphic designer, worked with an Etsy corsetier to create her ideal wedding dress.
Photo by Leah Aubrey Photography
- According to Cara, the cake looked and tasted great! The groom was such a fan of the gluten free top tier that they ordered from the same “flour girl” for his birthday.
These skeleton key favors could actually grow! Nurtured, they would become wildflowers - The day wouldn’t be complete without the creativity, love, and support of family and friends. Ben and Cara would use that love and support come the events after their honeymoon.
Cara wrote the following:
Before I scare you with the details that follow, both my husband and I are ok physically, and recovering mentally. There was some surreal drama that awaited us upon returning from our honeymoon. In addition to Epilepsy, Ben has many mysterious symptoms/conditions which the best (and most honest) of doctors termed “a f*&ked up neurological system.” To keep an already long story from becoming a novel, he has good days and bad, the bad consisting of “seizure-like activity” which affects him on a scale from able to do most things slowly (other than driving, of course) all the way to couch ridden. After the onslaught of crises in autumn, things did manage to even out a bit over the winter, but following his grand mal seizure in September, Ben’s ratio of good to bad, or what we call “tremory” days reversed, giving him maybe 1 day a month of full functionality. Ben’s health prevented him from doing much of the work he normally does to keep his real estate business running smoothly, so I stepped in and took on many additional tasks on top of my own freelance design business. We had somewhat of a routine going, though, and I was just starting to dig into all of the post-wedding responsibilities we’ve had to put off for so long; having the dress cleaned, writing thank you notes (literally, 2/3 have yet to go out!), etc. The first week of March I had even made a date with my brother (a filmmaker and editor) to look at our footage from you guys and make a game plan.
Groom Ben on his wedding day
On Thursday, March 8th, one of Ben’s rare “good” days, he was driving back from his favorite diner just a few blocks away from home, when the car in front of him stopped short. He braked just in time, but unfortunately the car behind him wasn’t able to stop before rear-ending Ben. Everyone was “OK” but Ben was in a lot of pain from the jolt to his Scoliosis and Kyphosis ridden spine (yup, he hit the jackpot, and THEN he married ME lol!). He couldn’t sleep due to the pain, but was starting to feel better on Sunday and on Monday, March 12, was well enough (and another “good day”) to drive back to his favorite diner for breakfast. He walked in, sat at the counter and texted me something, and just as I was typing my response my phone played his ringtone and I answered “Hey Babe,” but it wasn’t Ben. Our dear friend Carol, who owns the diner explained that she didn’t want to call, but had to tell me Ben had another grand mal seizure. He’s ok now, and strangely enough has had almost entirely “good” days. Though we had to walk through fire to get the appointment, Ben now has an amazing neurologist who has us on a long-term plan to change medications. He won’t be able to drive for at least 6 months, which has kept me even busier than before, but I’m happy to report that we are in a MUCH better position this time than last. Having so many “pre-existing conditions,” yet being neither rich enough to afford out of pocket healthcare or poor enough to receive help from the government, Ben didn’t have health insurance for 10+ years. Thanks to what those with every agenda other than helping people have deemed “Obama Care,” he is now insured through our state’s high risk pool for those in Ben’s situation, and he’s finally receiving the care he so desperately needs.
We are sending lots of love and prayer to Cara and Ben as they get through this challenging time.
Ask the couple a question: